Have Cake and Eat It, Too
by sultrysweet
Summary: Things between Ursula and Cruella end up being more domestic at times than either of them realize. Eventually, a friend of theirs sees more to their relationship than they do and it sparks something within the two of them that brings them closer. [Sea Devil Week, Day 1: Mistaken for a Couple]


**AN: Shamelessly inspired by Merrin's Twitter post last night about her and Vic having cake at Vic's house. Vic being the hostess with the mostest, I have to wonder what "mostest" really included. ;) Also, when you get to the end, please don't hate me! :D**

* * *

The oven beeped and Ursula couldn't get to it fast enough. She rushed toward the blaring alarm and turned it off before she slipped on a pair of oven mitts. She opened the oven and checked to see what her hard work looked like before she even dared to take it out. The edges were just hard enough to seem well-baked, but the center was what determined whether or not the dish was complete.

Satisfied with its outward appearance, she pulled the cake out of the oven and placed it on the cooling rack she already had set up on the counter. She removed the mitts and grabbed a toothpick before she carefully slid in into the very center of the round dessert and then pulled it out with the same amount of care. She inspected it to see if any of the cake had collected on the toothpick and beamed when she noticed the toothpick came out clean.

She paced for hours as she waited for it to cool. The longer she had to wait, the more time she—unfortunately—had to worry about whether or not the cake would even be appreciated. It was one of her first attempts at baking and she wasn't sure the flavor was right, but she needed to practice her skills in the kitchen if she expected to keep herself alive. After all, she and Cruella hadn't sucked the remaining magic from the dragon egg to maintain their youth just for them to die of starvation.

When her nervousness hit its peak, she checked the cake one last time. It was finally cool and ready to frost. She spread a chocolate, buttercream frosting over the top and sides until it looked smooth like all the pictures in the cook book she used to help her make it. When every part of it was covered, she stepped away from it for a better look and frowned when she realized for the first time how plain it looked. There was no oomph, no jaw dropping or eye popping color or design to it. It just sat there, like something meant to be carelessly devoured despite the long and trying effort it took to prepare.

She poured over every recipe in the book and reread each of them at least three times before she decided she would make a different colored frosting to add on top of the chocolate spread. So she got to work, recreating the frosting from earlier with just one difference; she added food dye. When it was ready, she struggled to find the best way to put it on the cake as she imagined it would look when she was done. As the worry started to creep back up her spine and her stomach started to twist itself into knots, she looked at the clock and saw she was almost out of time. She didn't have the luxury of taking another hour or two to figure out the best way to go about what she wanted to do. Cruella would be home any minute.

A little sad she didn't have the opportunity to do more or better with the remaining time she had to make the final touches to the cake, Ursula used the same kitchenware she had to spread the chocolate frosting and in much the same way, she spread the decorative frosting on top of it. Once she topped the cake off the way she wanted it, she freed her hands and took another look. It was a little messy, but she wasn't a professional. It wasn't perfect, but neither were she or Cruella.

Satisfied, she licked one of her frosting coated fingers and took the dirty utensils that were no longer needed to the sink. As she started to clean them off, she heard a key slide into the lock and her eyes snapped up to focus on the closed door to the cramped apartment. Her breathing became shallow as more panic started to erupt. The cake was ready, but she sure as hell wasn't.

She turned off the faucet and wiped her hands on the hand towel she left draped over the handle of the oven door. She practically sprinted across the hardwood from the tiny kitchen into the open dining room that existed between the living room and the one bedroom the apartment had. She fluffed out her hair with a little finger-combing and teasing until she trusted it looked presentable enough and then sat down on one of the wobbly wooden chairs at the table.

Within seconds, the door burst open and Cruella glided inside and slammed the door shut behind her. Ursula sighed and closed her eyes before she commented on the harshness of the woman's actions. "Do I really need to remind you again that the door hasn't done anything to you, and if you break it we don't eat for the next two weeks because I'll have to spend my entire paycheck on the repair?"

Cruella huffed and dropped her knockoff designer purse on one of the two empty chairs at the table before she collapsed into the other. "I would apologize, dahling, except this is a dump. This entire city is a wasteland. Everything around us is as disastrous as that man that talks to himself and urinates on the side of the building."

Ursula crossed her arms over her chest and just hoped they wouldn't have to have that argument again. Too many times Cruella had either come back to the apartment or welcomed Ursula home to the same angered concerns about how horribly they were forced to live thanks to Snow White and her prince.

"Oh, Ursula, I know you hate it when I bring it up. I just…I think we should go somewhere else. Find somewhere nicer to make ourselves comfortable."

"So you've told me," she muttered.

Cruella looked like she was about to say something else, but her eyes glanced down and spotted the cake. "Is that…for me, dahling?"

Ursula looked at the cake and couldn't even muster up a smile. She nodded and watched Cruella's reaction with a neutral expression on her face.

Cruella hummed and went to the kitchen. She came back with a fork and cut into the dessert without even a single comment on the design on the frosting, which admittedly wasn't much, but it had taken time and effort. The least Cruella could have done was spare a single compliment about it. Or even a thank you for having made the cake for her at all.

Cruella took a bite and hummed again, but her eyes didn't Iight up like Ursula had expected them to.

"It's nice, dahling. Very good."

"Apparently not good enough for you to look happy," Ursula replied.

Cruella set down the fork and rolled her eyes. "It would be much more enjoyable if we didn't live _here_."

The same old argument. It seemed they just couldn't get past it.

A month later, Ursula didn't have to hear Cruella complain anymore. Cruella was gone.

* * *

Storybrooke was cleaner, but the weather was just as miserable for at least half the year. At least she was able to say that despite the people in the town, the good people that came over from the Enchanted Forest, it was better than New York. She didn't much like the Charmings or their friends, but she put up with them after Rumpel's plan had failed and she, Cruella, and Maleficent were left in the town to make their own way against their enemies. Maleficent at least had Lily and that made her less of a threat, but people in Storybrooke didn't trust her and Cruella. Even Regina had her doubts after the first chance she gave them to prove they'd changed had blown up in her face.

So they were cast out. They were allowed to stay in the town, but were told to keep their distance until they were trusted. They stuck to the cabin Rumpel had used as their villain's hideout and while it wasn't ideal for someone like Cruella, who had fled their life together in New York for a dusty old man with a large fortune and a lot more material things to offer her, it was good enough. It had to be. They had nowhere else to go. Neither wanted to go back to the Enchanted Forest. There was nothing there for them, and there never really had been.

She bundled up in her leather jacket as she walked back to the cabin, her mouth and nose buried inside her scarf with her hands in black leather gloves and tucked under her arms, which were crossed over her chest, for extra warmth.

Cruella's car was already parked in front of the cabin so she knew the other woman was already home. It wasn't surprising. Cruella was the more feared villain of the two of them after she'd threatened to kill Emma and Regina's son and on top of that, the other woman had once confessed to Ursula that being out and about in town made it harder to push down her urge to hurt and kill. She still wasn't able to do either of those things so it physically and mentally hurt her to have to fight the temptation to be horrible.

So while Cruella's presence at the cabin wasn't a surprise, what was surprising about Cruella being home before her was the way it smelled when she walked in the door. Gin usually came off the woman in waves, but as Ursula stepped inside and closed the door she only smelled the faint burnt scent of the poorly maintained heating and the more dominant smell of freshly baked…cake.

There was cake on the table, ready and waiting. She looked around to find Cruella, but the other woman didn't appear to be anywhere in the common room. She called out, but got no response. At least not from Cruella and not immediately.

The fire roared to life from a stream of it blown across the room. It nearly burned her hair as it passed.

"Sorry," a slow and familiar voice said before she saw Maleficent saunter out of one of the bedrooms. "You're early. It was supposed to be lit before you walked in."

"What are you doing here," Ursula asked with a furrowed brow.

"Cruella asked for my help. My daughter is off with Emma and Regina, so I had the time to spare."

"She's… Why is she with them?"

"Call it her weekend with her father and step-mom slash best friend. Regina might very well have been responsible for Lily. I'm not really sure. I was with a lot of people back then and magical child conception, as Regina's recently reminded me, is extremely possible."

"Well, that's—"

"Complicated and strange? Tell me about it. Right now, that doesn't matter. Emma's her friend and Regina is Emma's _special_ friend and that's all any of us need to concern ourselves with to get along. Just like your special friend is in the bathroom fixing up her appearance. Not that she needed to."

"Special…? Wait, like Emma and Regina? Mal, you think Cruella and I—"

"Dahling, you're early," Cruella greeted as she strode into the common room with a grin and those insanely tight leather pants. She wore a black, semi-loose tank top to match the color of her pants; her typical outfit since their arrival in Storybrooke. "Thanks for lighting our fire, Mal."

"Mmm," Maleficent hummed and looked from Ursula to Cruella with a certain kind of focus. Her lips curled into a subtle yet noticeable smirk before she glided toward the door. "I'll leave you two alone."

Ursula tried to correct Maleficent's way of thinking, but the tall blonde was gone before she could get the words out. And Cruella had most of her attention as the woman cut the cake with a large knife and served up two pieces. One for each of them it seemed.

"Sit," Cruella gently insisted before she settled in at the table. "I hope I did this right."

"Did what? The cake?"

"Among other things."

Ursula wanted to ask what other things, but she looked back at the closed door Maleficent left through only seconds ago. "Did you know Maleficent thinks we're together?"

"We _are_ together."

Ursula's eyebrows jumped toward her hairline.

"We're both out here. Together. We're each other's best friends," Cruella added.

Ursula relaxed and at the same time realized how tense she'd been at the mere implication Cruella thought they were more than they actually were. "Right," she agreed with a smile.

"But if things change, they change," Cruella casually said. She smirked when Ursula's eyes snapped up in renewed shock and then throatily chuckled when Ursula squirmed where she stood next to the chair she had yet to sit in. "It's not like they haven't before. I remember quite a few lonely nights after coming to this world when we couldn't afford heating in that drafty place. We used to cling to each other under the covers, remember?"

Oh, she definitely remembered. She remembered finding out what it meant to enjoy the physical company of another woman. She remembered finding out what it was like to want to keep doing it again and again and maybe not just so they could keep warm during the winter. She also remembered lying about not being able to afford the heat one month after they'd touched each other at least a few times before. She remembered that time being the best, because that time neither one of them made it about snuggling and having sex to generate body heat. That time, they started off with innocent cuddling and an abundance of blankets and warm clothes. It led to other things when Cruella nuzzled her neck and started something Ursula had desperately wanted them to finish. And they had. They finished what Cruella started and then some. Again and again and again.

"I remember enough," Ursula answered and tried to keep her tone and expression emotionless, but her voice was deeper than usual and her eyes swept over Cruella's body.

Cruella crossed her legs and stared at Ursula knowingly when their eyes finally locked. "Tell me, dahling…do you want to have your cake?"

Her eyes went from Cruella's smug look to the cake itself, which had the words "I'm sorry", followed by "eat me?" written out in red frosting over the full chocolate frosting of the cake.

Cruella lounged in the chair across from her with a finger pressed to her temple, her thumb pressed to her jawline, and her sharp, blue eyes daring Ursula to drown in them. Red lips were parted and curled into a slight grin that spread into an absolutely predatory look when Ursula finally replied, "And eat you, too."

And Ursula drowned in more than just those blue eyes that night.

* * *

 **Note: This is for now, and probably always will be, a oneshot. So sorry to start something _I_ didn't finish, but it would have taken far too long to write out the smut. Hope you enjoyed this quick fic anyway. And don't forget to look into and maybe even participate in Sea Devil Week! You can find all that info on Tumblr: seadevil-week.**


End file.
